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By: abdul jalil omar
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| Thursday, 17-Mar-2011 11:03 |
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So lonely being alone
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tepi sungai, very calm
memang lonely living away from my family. living marlina, ariesya, and stubborn ammar at house by the river. miss them badly. i think that's why Allah created us in partners. walking alone looking the same road that i used to walk along with them really make my heart break into tears. touch so much especially the tram passes hope street. at glance all the memories come back as such i can see them playing bicycle in front of the house. laughing, running, and shouting. not sure the graffiti they did still there. but the image still freshly in my mind.
gambar lama 2009 (ammar, 4, ariesya, 5)
even the phone can't replace the feeling of having them by my side. this make me think how is the feeling if they gone forever. i can't imagine that. but the time should come one day. don't know who will go first me or them. i don't have anybody for myself other than them.
o Allah please help me gone through this journey together with them. guide me to guide them to the right path as You want. as i should go....but for the time being please help me to bear this moment of loneliness....miss u all
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| Sunday, 1-Aug-2010 01:07 |
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Keep going and keep strong
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setalah berapa lama sepi laman fotopage ni aku rasa elok aku revisit page ni sebab bila page macam ni pun bagus utk tgk balik perjalanan hidup aku di sini selama 3 tahun ni. sekarang aku di stage yg paras meter dah mencecah paksi. semangat pun dah tinggal skit saja lagi. menulis pun slow sgt. nak menghadap phd pun macam dah tak larat lagi. anyway aku bersyukur berbanding dgn org lain aku masih beruntung sebab data semua dah dapat cuma sekarang nak write up saja. org lain ada yg 3 tahun masih dok buat data collection lagi. masih lagi struggle dgn supervisor....alhamdulillah....
bulan 9 ni cukup 3 tahun aku di melbourne...rasa macam sekejap saja aku kat sini...tulah masa berlalu cepat sekali...tgk ariesya dgn ammar pun dah besar dah...ariesya dah masuk prep (pra) sekolah and ammar pun dah masuk kinder dah. masa dtg dulu kecik lagi sekrg bila tgk diorg dah besar dah....maksudnya aku pun dah makin tua la tu....he he
sekarang masa musim winter...sejuk pun boleh tahan...tp beruntungnya sekarang matahari panas skit boleh la cover cuaca sejuk...klu dulu aku pi northern ireland kat ulster sana tu tak tau la macamana...sejuk tahap gaban punya....tu lah Allah dah tetapkan rezeki aku kat melbourne so kat sini lah aku sampai....segalanya di ketentuanNya.....
so what next for my life is strive to complete my writing..hope fully i can complete it asap and by the end of this year i can submit the thick book to chris...chris still as usual in the supportive form...siap kata don't be too downhearted with his comments....macam tau tau saja aku tgh down ni...dah ank sampai akhir ni makin la lemau....but what choice do i have...rather than finish it....this is one way journey....no turning back .....i started it then i will finish it.....chaiyukkk 
manchester airport for CIB conference
a trip to manchester megastore
i am not a big fan of manchester but i respect their success
first time live football experience...
bonding relationship with chris..old trafford not just about football
jejak jugak kaki aku kat Dubai
ole-ole dari uk..adidas..tennis shoes
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| Wednesday, 26-May-2010 12:26 |
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Revisit my goals
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it's been quite sometime i did not visit this site. i feel lost. not really about my phd but i am not sure what is happening to me. i need to refresh myself and steer back my direction to the right path and speed up to my goals. i don't have much time left to finish this part of journey. less than 3 months left to 3 years period of this journey. this journey supposes to short and precise as i need to do something else for my life, my kids and my family. so, getting relax and get confuse is not a good option for me now. my family depend on me to show the courage to face challenges. this is nothing compare to others. Allah choose me to go through this journey then i am responsible to work as i can to carry this responsibility. no time to get carry away with the boredom or lost of focus anymore. no time at all...jalil
i am half way of my journey in this short world...already 30++...not much time left too....need to settle down as quick as possible and guide my kids to the right path as early as possible...really need to get up and running because there is many thing to do after phd...many people depend on me to get through this process...me? of course me too...my energy is draining very fast now...mentally and physically got burned out everyday...i need to move very fast from now on...or else i won't make it in time...
ya Allah...please help me..guide me..give me energy and ideas to move forward..keep me and my family healthy so i can focus to complete my thesis...from now on i will do my best in every hour of my time....i will......
they depend on me...
i will keep going..no matter what..
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| Saturday, 17-Apr-2010 14:37 |
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Which way to go and am I ready for the right path?
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Life in this world is a long journey...however it's just partially part of never ending journey here after. sometime it's not achievable by human bounded mind. life at this world is just a ticket into a never ending as we need license in doing everything else. we need car license to drive to longest road, we need a first job before climb to the highest corporate ladder, we need a marriage before we can get the beauty of family life etc.
what we need is to believe that there is life after death and we are here for a purpose. God must create us for a reason. let's observe ourselves and the creation around us. do we do something without purpose. last 10 years we are different people than we are now with different physical condition, our kids is smaller than now, world around us changing towards a direction...for a purpose. are learning from this changes? we need to believe that the Creator expect us to do something or to show something that He is the Almighty of all the His creation. for me to praise Him and feel that I am nothing to Him. I am the one that should praise Him all the time...that's my purpose for Him to accept me into another journey.
there are time when I am in doubt...but I take a deep breath and look around me to see the truth. i know true believer never in doubt like Saidina Abu Bakar. the evil around me will have no opportunity to play around with my heart again. the doubt in me already being thrown away...now i believe that's everything i do is for a purpose...Allah please forgive me...aku hambaMu yg lemah dan lalai, tolong kuatkan imanku, ahli keluargaku, adik beradikku, sahabat2 ku, dan seluruh hambaMu...amin.
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| Saturday, 27-Mar-2010 07:30 |
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Hak anak-anak aku ke atas aku....kahwinkan mereka bila layak
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Khutbah Jumaat, Masjid Fateh, Coburg, melbourne 26/3/2010
Hak anak ke atas bapanya. Jgn sampai anak menjadi musuh kita di Hari Perbicaraan nanti.
Khutbah hari ni sambungan dari siri beberapa khutbah dari minggu lepas tentang tanggungjawab bapa ke atas anak. Khatib ada senaraikan beberapa hak anak berdasarkan beberapa hadis antaranya:
i. memberikan nama anak semasa lahir dan memanggil anak dengan nama yang baik2,
ii. mengajar anak kitab2 Allah;
iii. mengahwinkan anak apabila anak mencapai umur yang boleh dikahwinkan.
Saya pun ingat2 lupa khutbah ni tp saya cuba kongsikan setakat yg saya ingat untuk kebaikan bersama.
Hak anak ini dikhususkan kepada bapa tetapi ibu bertanggungjwab menasihatkan bapa demi kebaikan bersama.
Bagaimana anak boleh menjadi musuh kita di akhirat nanti?
Ibu bapa yg gagal menyediakan ilmu agama secukupnya kepada anak2 sebelum dia baligh dan anak2 tu jahil sehingga dia lepas baligh maka saham dosa anak2 akan dimasukkan dalam akaun bapanya di Hari Perbicaraan depan Allah nanti. Bila Allah tanya si anak kepada berbuat dosa. Si anak tadi akan jawab ni sebab bapak aku tak ajar, tak suruh dan tak paksa aku pun untuk belajar semua ilmu2 agama ni. Sebab tu lah bapak dia pun sangkut sekali. Kecuali bapa dia boleh buktikan yg dia dah berusaha bersungguh-sungguh mengajar tapi lepas baligh anak ni jadi keras kepala jugak tak nak ikut dan terus buat dosa. So dalam hal ni si bapa dibebaskan dari hukuman Allah. Isunya bukan mulut saja yg jawab. Semua kaki, tangan, usaha, peruntukan masa, tenaga dll yg diambilkira. Tuhan tanya si bapa betul ke ko bersungguh-sungguh bagi didikan agama kat anak ko ni? Susah gak nak jawab klu tak betul2 ni.
Minggu ni khatib cerita pasal tanggungjwab menikahkan anak bila anak sampai umur yang boleh dikahwinkan. Tak kira anak lelaki atau perempuan. Fardhu upon the father. Jika bapa gagal mengahwinkan anak bila dia dah boleh kahwin dan anak tu terus buat dosa sebab tak kawin maka dosa anak akan di masukkan sekali ke dalam akaun dosa bapa dia. Dosa mata, tangan, telinga dll, bapa dia pun ada jumlah yg sama dosa anak tu.
Bapa dia bertanggungjawab atas anak tu tak kira la bapa dia tu alim ulama besar, hartawan yg dermawan, tak pernah tinggal sembahyang jemaah di masjid atau apa saja.
Bila anak lelaki atau perempuan dia dah boleh kawin si bapa kena support, sokong dan cari calon yg beriman untuk anak dia tu. Dilarang membiarkan anak untuk bercouple-couple etc. Keranan ingat dosa anak bapak dia pun tanggung sekali.
Bapak kena support kewangan, kebenaran, tak membebankan calon klu anak perempuan sampai nak tetap hantaran berpuluh ribu RM. Pengsan la calon klu kena macam tu. Baru nak mulakan hidup dah kena berhutang. Cuba klu bapak dia yg kena macam tu masa nak kawin dengan mak dia sekarang ni. Jawabnya sampai ke tua la bapak skrg...
Jgn ikut sgt budaya salah masyarakat nak suruh anak tu tunggu lepas universiti, kerja bergaji beribu-ribu dulu, kena ada kereta dulu, beli rumah, mampu buat kenduri sembelih lembu 2 3 ekor dulu, nak jumpa menantu yg hansome cantik dulu etc baru nak bagi kawin. INGAT!!! Dosa anak bapak tanggung sekali yer...
Khalifah Umar alkhattab suatu hari meronda waktu malam. Beliau terdengar satu perbualan anak perempuan dgn ibunya. Si anak bgtau susu untuk jualan esok tak cukup. So si mak suruh campur air, tapi anak tu tak setuju. Si anak kata khalifah marah buat macam tu. Mak ckp khalifah tak dgr sebab khalifah tgh tido. Si anak jawab Tuhan khalifah tu tau apa yg kita buat. Esoknya, khalifah umar hantar rombongan untuk meminang anak perempuan tu untuk anaknya Abdullah ibnu Umar.
Khatib cerita lagi satu kisah yg berlaku zaman abasiyyah kut(tak ingat). Seorang kadi dapat tau yg esok pagi ada pembesar zaman tu akan dtg meminang anaknya kerana tau anak dia cantik. Kadi tu tau yg pembesar tu tidak beriman dan fasik. Apa yg kadi tu buat ialah dia suruh seorang anak murid dia tunggu lepas subuh. Cari 2 org saksi dan terus kahwinkan anak perempuan dia tu dgn pemuda tu. Walaupun pemuda tu miskin dan tak masuk universiti (ni ayat tambah sendiri). Bila pagi tu rombongan pembesar sampai dia pun cakap dia takde anak perempuan yg belum kawin. Semua dah kawin. Setel masalah.
Stigma kawin muda menyusahkan patut dikikiskan dalam minda mak dan bapak yg beriman. Kerana kawin telah terbukti menjadikan seseorang itu lebih fokus, bertanggungjwab, ceria, kuat berusaha dll. Ye lah gelora nafsu badannya telah dipenuhi, ada tanggungjawab, hidup dia lebih bermakna dan enjoy lepas kawin.
Jadi mak dan bapak (bapak la paling banyak saham dlm hal ni) kena pikiaq hal ni elok2. Ni hak anak., tanggungjawab bapak. INGAT!!!dosa saya bapak tanggung ok...kahwinkan anak bila sampai waktunya...bapak kena sokong moral dan duit untuk bagi anak kawin...klu ada anak pompuan tu jgn bg susah sgt letak belanja sampai bakal menantu kena buat loan bank rakyat pulak nak kawin...dah la lepas kawin anak tu nak mulakan hidup baru...beli brg dlm rumah lagi etc...
apa salahnya akad nikah lepas tu buat jamuan makan tengahari saja? jemput ahli keluarga dan jiran terdekat saja...susah tapi boleh dibuat...mungkin rasa malu sikit tapi insya allah selamat dunia akhirat...nak besar sikit bapak sponsor la lembu sekor..klu tak mampu tu buat kecil kecilan sudah...kawin tu sah jugak...bapak terlepas dosa...dah ada duit nanti buatla kenduri kesyukuran besar skit....
So setakat ni la khutbah jumaat hari ni...kawin simple tak semestinya tak bahagia...Insya Allah Tuhan akan beri kemudahan kepada anak kita dan mak bapak jika kita berkehendakkan kearah kebaikan...semoga Allah peliharakan diri kita, anak2 dan kaum keluarga kita....amin...
Jalil
Jalan harapan
Ariesya went to school by bike
ammar ready to go
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| Friday, 5-Mar-2010 12:05 |
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Ammar and ariesya go to school
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i don't realise how fast time pass by me. they growing up very fast. aahh...their wings are growing. i am preparing them to fly. i know it's hard to let them go but that's life. Ammar already going 5, ariesya going for 6. Ammar went to kinder at Denzil Don Kinder, ariesya went for prep at Brunswick South West.
bila diorg takde rumah rase sunyi. bila diorg ade macam nak pecah rumah. aku naik angin pulak. bila balik saja nak main basikal. aku beli basikal baru bagi ammar dari naik basikal pink org bagi.
ammar is the type that can play by himself. alone is not a big problem to him. however, ariesya always need friends around her. there are few of her good friends at school like hannah, emelie, asyka, jemilla, joyce etc. she even feel sad when emelie doesn't want to be friend with her. at home she has leah to play with. for ammar, his bike is just enough for him to get occupy.
i am trying to figure out which direction should they go in future...but the most important thing is they can't become a useful person for the ummah, strong innerself and have a sense of direction what, where and why the choose the path they have taken....i hope Allah will guide me to guide them to the right direction...
Ya Allah..peliharakan Iman anak-anakku...Kau tunjukkan mereka ke jalan yang Kau redhai bukannya jalan yang Kau murkai..amin
ammar with his pink bike
new bike..more masculine
ammar depan kinder
ammar waiting to go inside the kinder
with school principal..louise
ariesya with teddy on teddy bear race day
they need each other even though they are different
anak dara aku ni...dah besar rupanya
macam budak kampung dulu2..klasik
ammar...happy go lucky
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| Sunday, 27-Dec-2009 11:06 |
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Ariesya n her good friend,leah
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tak tau macaman diorg dua ni boleh baik sgt. mungkin dua-dua takde member. mula2 dulu sorang ckp org putih sorang ckp melayu. skrg lepas dah pegi kinder dua2 dah boleh ckp english bahasa budak2 la. cuma ammar sorang aje yg ckp melayu. tp budak2 main tak perlu ckp pun takpe. asal boleh aje...janji happy..ada leah (mak org filipina, ayah mat saleh) ni boleh jugak la ariesya nak improve english. berani jugak nak cakap walaupun kadang2 merapu ntah ape ntah...
ariesya n leah
Ammar...first day bukak tayar tepi dah boleh naik basikal
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| Sunday, 8-Nov-2009 03:45 |
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TIME & Me
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looking back what happened to my life make me realise how short the time i have in this big world. the time i have here is nothing compare to the day of infinity in 'akhirat'. but the time i have now is a ticket to decide what will happen for me in another world. am i fully utilise my time here? do i use it all the time to worship Allah? what will happen to my family/kids in future? how will they face the challenge in future? what should i prepare them in this world to face the life after their death? what will i left behind to help me in the next life? etc
the path i've taken so far have a long way to go. i am not sure how long i will live. maybe tomorrow, next week, next year or another 30 years to go. given the productive life is 60, then i will have another 29 years to live here. it is a temporary life compare the infinity life that everybody will face later. the fate that will be decided on the day of judgment is base on my contributions now. how much good i've done? how much bad/dosa i've collected from baligh till i die? how much taubah being accpeted? how i use my time, money, energy, expertise etc to worship Allah?
it doesn't need a rocket science to understand what is right and what is wrong. because we have the brain and akal. there are things i can understand by nature like throwing rubbish everywhere is wrong and helping people is good. and there are things i need to learn to become good in it like reading Quran, learning arabic, the hukum hakam, to become a good lecturer, a good engineer etc. like ust azhar said, "we work very hard to be success in this world, then why not we work harder for the life in akhirah. the life of eternity, the life of more than 1,000,000,000 years." how to work hard for akhirah? that's i need to learn more...
life timetable
ammar
areisya at kinder
mama
me
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| Saturday, 24-Oct-2009 07:59 |
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into the third phase of my phd journey...game on
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setelah hampir 3 bulan di malaysia buat data collection aku pun berangkat balik melbourne dengan berat hati. bukan apa, mengenangkan kesejukan melbourne dan ketidakramahan org di sana ditambah dengan graf phd yg negative movement amat merisaukan aku. tambahan dengan progress yg tak seberapa. apa yg nak cerita dgn chris nanti. data yang berlambak-lambak belum lagi di transcribe buatkan aku rasa letih nak balik ke melbourne. tapi apakan daya hidup perlu diteruskan. in one way it is a good learning curve for me. pushing myself to the limit in the research. the more i challenge it the better i will be. tougher and wiser. i will be back to malaysia as solid corporate real estate researcher. to help the industry and malaysia to grow. i think i have enough for myself and my family and i believe i will be successful in future. now it is the time to share, contribute and help others. i have a dream....no time to day dreaming now..got to work
sunrise in marang
ammar thinking n coca cola free glass
mama not in a good mood
ammar achieve something...airasia puzzle
ular dah masuk tahun ke 3...not much time left...got to run
Game on...SOLO
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| Thursday, 15-Oct-2009 12:00 |
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Boating to pulau kapas
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dah lama aku nak pi pusing pulau kapas cuma tak sempat. memandangkan sekarang ayah mentua aku dah pencen dan dia pun dok keje ke laut, senang la nak ajak dia kelaut candat ke ape ke lepas ni. mungkin mood dia tgh baik aku ajak dia pi pusing pulau kapas. bawak semua anak beranak pegi tgk2 laut. sampai tgh laut aku terjun mandi jap dgn razahar (ni first time pegi). kali kedua pegi penuh boat pusing2 lepas tu balik mandi kat pantai. happy betul budak2 tu...termasuk lah bapak budak...layan ajelah sebelum balik melbourne...
bersama juragan ed osmera...serius habis
berenang tgh laut...crystal clear water
beli ikan kat pak awang kat tengah laut
chalet pulau germia sebelah pulau kapas
bangsal lepak kat benteng kuala
mandi tepi pantai sebelum balik
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